Not So Zen
# Nothing Says “Trust Us” Like a Company That Won’t Answer a Direct Question
Somebody tried to phish me this week, and the real crime isn’t that they tried — it’s how boring their execution was.
Let me set the scene: a Patreon support agent named “Rain” (truly, a name suited for someone who wants to wash their hands of accountability) spent multiple emails asking me to hand over sensitive account-verification details so they could “locate my account.” Never mind that Patreon already knows exactly where my account is — it’s the one paying them annually. The email technically checked out, legitimate Patreon-hosted Zendesk infrastructure and all, which is the part that should terrify everyone, not reassure them. I didn’t bite. I reported it straight to Patreon and straight to Zendesk, the company that actually runs their support tickets.
Here’s where it gets fun: Zendesk’s official response confirmed the mailbox wasn’t hacked, and then said nothing — not one word — about why their own agent kept fishing for my private information anyway. Ask a direct question, get half an answer and a customer-service smile. I told them, in writing, to never contact me again about this or anything else. So consider this your PSA: if a support agent ever asks you to email over “verification details” so they can “locate” you, you are not lost. They are fishing. Hang up, screenshot, report, move on.
Whose Your Daddy?
While I have your attention on companies phoning it in: Patreon’s overall customer service has been scraping somewhere between “below average” and “actively hiding from me,” and given that their whole support system runs through Zendesk — see above — my confidence that they’d actually protect their patrons if something went wrong is, generously, low. They also don’t do much to lift up the creators paying them. A whole separate rant, saved for a rainier day.
Bad-reads Is Now So-so-reads
Palate cleanser, because I promised myself I’d stay funny: remember the Goodreads catastrophe where every single one of my book credits kept getting filed under a completely different, much more famous author who happens to share my name? Fixed. Handled. Over. I now have my own disambiguated author page, mistaken identity surgically removed:
Goodreads support’s original defense of the mix-up, for the record, amounted to “we can’t possibly know who everyone is.” To which I said, and will say forever: same name, not the same bank account. I wish.
Another One
In other “things I started this week that your inbox did not ask for” news — I launched a fourth newsletter. It’s called Inkwell, it’s on Beehiiv, and it exists because apparently three weekly newsletters wasn’t enough chaos for one writer to generate. Come subscribe. I promise it’s the calmest of the bunch.
Prayers Are Welcome
On a quieter note — we’ve got a family health scare going on right now and won’t know more until Wednesday, so if my jokes feel a touch more caffeinated than usual this week, that’s why. Send good thoughts, then come back for the art.
This week’s Crayon Corner is below, featuring far too many eyes and one extremely judgmental mouse.
Books live at **alexandragrant8229.com** if you’d like to support someone whose customer service philosophy is, at minimum, answering the actual question you asked.
Catch me on Patreon, Substack, Beehiiv, Medium, Vocal, Wattpad, or WordPress. Dealer's choice! Check me out on Social Media too via Linktree or my website, Ink and Echo. And if you'd like to support my coffee habit, you can do that on Ko-fi too.
Alexandra, I really, really enjoyed this! You are an exceptional writer and every second of this read has been sheer pleasure. I am sending good thoughts and blessings, already, for your family. I do wish you all the best.